yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
His hands were made for my vagina.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
