dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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