I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
