it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
