he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
