The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
