I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
zippers are such a cool invention
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize