Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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