She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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