We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
