Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
