i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
