No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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