The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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