That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
