Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
