it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize