New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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