yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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