hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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