Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
