so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
