He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
