I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
