So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize