You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
