I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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