you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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