So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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