There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize