ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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