Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
