um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
