I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize