No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
