you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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