they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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