And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
