How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize