I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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