Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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