My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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