The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
