All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
