Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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