he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
