but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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