just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
