Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh god it's open bar.
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