Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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