I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
