He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
