my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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