If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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