he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
