I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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