Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize