It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
