Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
